4 Steps to Addressing Mental Health

I’m a senior executive.  

I am an advanced pickleball player. 

I am an accomplished musician. 

Ya know what…those came to mind before I even thought of father, son, friend, mentor, etc. 
Ouch.  

What I DO is too often tied to “who I AM” at a core unhealthy level. My performance equals my worth. “Winning” at work, the pickleball court, or on stage means that I am more worthy and valuable as a person. 

Oof. That’s not good. Because it’s not true. 

Why do I feel the things so deeply? 

Well, I am also an “Adult Survivor of a Damaged Past” (ASDP), a phrase coined by former Fortune 150 CHRO, Susan Schmitt Winchester.  

I am a product of my past, just like you. I had a wounded father who overcame many of his own deficits but still lashed out emotionally at his family all too often. I was adopted at a young age and struggled with a deep fear of abandonment. I never had a good example of a strong marriage to emulate, and thus brought those wounds into my own and hurt my own wife. I had no strong male mentors who I felt close with until I was in college, and then he went through his own deep pain, made mistakes, and accidentally overdosed. 

I could go on. 

Rather than retelling her entire book, I’ll suggest you read her new book, “Healing at Work: A Guide to Using Career Conflicts to Overcome Your Past and Build the Future Your Deserve.” You might also take a listen to her 2-part podcast with me (Listen to Part 1 or Listen to Part 2) that covers a lot of these topics as well. I squeaked out a couple tears recording it with her. 

Why do I share this vulnerable and intimate information?

To normalize it. 
To empower you. 
To encourage you. 
To reduce the hold of fear and insecurity in your life. 

It also happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month, and just a few short years ago I would have refused to admit that I had mental health challenges. I would have dismissed the suggestion that I have childhood trauma. I would have disregarded the suggestion that perhaps I carry wounds with me that impede me from being my best self at home and at work.  

Maybe you need to start taking this stuff seriously, too. If you are part of the 60% who aren’t ASDPs, look around you. Look at your team. Look at the leaders in your company. Almost half of them carry deep childhood wounds that they can’t just “leave at home” and carry on with work unimpacted. That deserves attention; that requires that we lead, love, and work differently.  

For years we have reinforced the myth that we have two lives: our “work lives” and our “home lives”.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. The reality is we just have one life, and within that one life we go to work one-third of the time. We should never expect that all the pain, frustrations, fears, anxieties, and trauma that we experience during the other two-thirds of our life will not impact us at work. We will take those experiences into the workplace, and they will show up at times in the quality of our work, the health or unhealth of our interpersonal interactions, and in the careers that we pave as a result. 

This is not new stuff…this what we’ve all been bringing into the workplace since the dawn of time.  

However, while some previous generations thought they could “compartmentalize” and disassociate themselves from their pain at work, the younger generations are going, “Hold on…this isn’t healthy. This isn’t right.” 

Millennials and Gen Z employees are taking mental health more seriously than their Gen X and Boomer colleagues and bosses. While there may be times where they go overboard (no, I don’t think we need “safe spaces” at work), I think this is a net positive. 

Younger employees realize that they are emotionally wounded and need to address their mental health proactively. As leaders, it’s our responsibility not to just respond to their needs, but proactively address them authentically and effectively.

While I do not know what your company does from a corporate standpoint to positively address mental health, I want to point out a few of the most important things we can do as leaders to start on this journey of taking our employees’ mental health more seriously. 

We need to talk about it. We need to lead with our own stories of woundedness. Similar to this blog, we need to normalize mental health needs and not make them into taboo topics that our teams feel hesitant to discuss. 

When we lead with our own stories, we make ourselves more approachable and relatable with our teams. We break down the walls and help them put their guard down to authentically speak of their own life challenges. Whether it’s during a 1-on-1, from the stage at a corporate all-hands, or in weekly team meetings, normalize mental health challenges by talking about it. 

We must proactively offer support. Even if your employees are willing and able to speak about their challenges and needs, they might still be hesitant to ask for help. Remember, they are potentially coming from a place of woundedness where they are afraid of looking weak, leaning on people-pleasing behaviors in the face of insecurities. If we wait for them to verbalize their needs, we may never hear from them, or at the very least, we might not know until things are really becoming incredibly tough in their lives.

Support may look different for you and your team, but some examples are:

• Flexibility with work arrangements like remote work, work hours, or opportunities to adjust workloads as necessary.  
• Resources and education: Share information about mental health resources available within the company or community, such as employee assistance programs (EAPs), counseling services, or mental health hotlines. Additionally, consider organizing workshops or training sessions on topics like stress management, mindfulness, or resilience. 
• Celebrate successes and express gratitude: Regularly recognize and appreciate your team members' efforts and accomplishments. A positive and supportive work environment can foster a sense of belonging and boost morale, which contributes to better mental well-being.

We must promote team-building and social connections, fostering a sense of community and belonging within your team through team-building activities, virtual or in-person social events, or informal catch-ups. As a result, we can cultivate a stronger “one-team mentality” and support structure. Then, you may invest in cross-training employees to enable them to take on the workload of suffering colleagues for the short-term when necessary. Dividing and conquering on behalf of our wounded teammates isn’t just an ideal state; it’s a required state for a team to truly function as “one”. 

Lastly, invest in helping the leaders in your organization improve their communication skills, because good intentions are not enough with challenging topics like mental health. Leaders must improve their ability to initiate difficult conversations like these instead of avoiding them or procrastinating. They must improve their empathetic leadership skills and maintain the dignity and respect for the employees they lead. We must help managers make that difficult transformation into becoming leaders. A training course like Uncomfortable Conversations might just do the trick. 

As you continue through Mental Health Awareness Month, remember, once June rolls around, the awareness may decrease, but the reality of the challenges within your workforce will persist. Don’t take the focus off as summer rolls around and continue your investment in the daily leadership steps described above to make a major difference that will have an impact at scale across your organization.  

If you're interested in learning more about this topic listen to Part 1 and Part 2 of Healing at work featuring Susan Schmitt Winchester on the Frontline Industry Podcast.